Hi there, dreamers and deep thinkers,
Grief is a language we learn reluctantly, often thrust upon us when life’s most precious relationships are severed. For me, this language has been a constant companion since I lost my mother unexpectedly. While time has softened the sharp edges of her absence, the void she left remains, echoing in quiet moments and unexpected memories. These letters are my way of filling that hollow space—not to replace her, but to reconnect with her, even in her absence.
Why Write Letters to the Departed?
Writing letters to someone who has passed away is an ancient and universal practice. Across cultures and spiritual traditions, it’s recognized as a way to bridge the gap between the living and the dead. Whether through prayer, ritual, or simple journaling, people have long sought ways to stay connected to their loved ones.
Psychologists often refer to this as “continuing bonds.” Unlike the older notion that grief requires “letting go” to move on, modern research shows that maintaining a relationship with the deceased can be healthy and healing. For me, these letters are that bond—a thread of love and memory that connects me to my mother.
What These Letters Mean to Me
Each letter is a dialogue—a chance to share with my mother what I couldn’t say when she was alive or what I’ve experienced since her passing. Sometimes, I write to process the pain of losing her. Other times, I write to celebrate the joy and wisdom she brought into my life.
But more than anything, these letters are about finding meaning. Losing someone so central to your world can shake your sense of purpose and identity. Writing allows me to piece together the fragments of my life and rediscover who I am in the context of her enduring influence.
Lessons from Grief
Through this process, I’ve come to understand a few universal truths about grief and love:
- Grief isn’t linear. It’s a winding path with moments of peace and moments of deep sorrow. Both are valid, and neither negates the other.
- Love doesn’t end with death. The bonds we share with our loved ones are timeless. They exist in our memories, our values, and even in the ways we continue to live our lives.
- Healing isn’t about forgetting. It’s about learning to carry the loss in a way that honors both the person who’s gone and the person you’ve become in their absence.
An Invitation to Reflect
If you’ve experienced loss, I hope these letters resonate with you. They are deeply personal, but grief is a shared experience. By opening this space, my wish is to inspire you to find your own way of connecting with those you’ve lost—through writing, art, or simply sitting quietly with their memory.
And if you’re navigating life without such loss, I hope these letters offer a window into the depth of love and the resilience of the human spirit.
A Final Thought
In many ways, writing to my mother feels like a spiritual practice. It’s not just about me telling her things; it’s about listening for the whispers of her wisdom and love that still guide me.
This series, Letters to My Mother, is a labor of love and healing. It’s a testament to the fact that even in the face of profound loss, connection endures. Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Let’s Begin
The first letter is already waiting, filled with memories, gratitude, and a longing that words can only partially capture. I invite you to read it, reflect, and, perhaps, start a dialogue of your own with those you miss.
Let’s navigate this trail of love, loss, and healing together.
Stay curious.
With love,
April
Cognitive Psycho
