It’s one of those things you’ve probably heard before: “You can’t just pick and choose from a religion.” It’s treated like an unspoken rule, a line in the sand meant to keep people from exploring faith on their own terms. But here’s the thing—they’re wrong. Picking and choosing isn’t just acceptable; it’s one of the most honest and transformative ways to navigate spirituality.

When my mother had me baptized as a baby, she was doing what her Catholic faith encouraged. But as I grew older, she surprised me with something so much more profound: she gave me permission to seek. She encouraged me to find my own answers, to question, and, yes, even to borrow from different beliefs to piece together something meaningful to me. That openness planted the seed for my own journey—a journey that looks nothing like hers but feels just as sacred.

Religion as a Toolbox, Not a Blueprint

The idea that you must follow one religion in its entirety is a human construct, born of tradition and control rather than divine will. If we look at religion as a toolbox instead of a rigid blueprint, everything changes. Each belief system offers unique tools—wisdom, rituals, stories, and practices. You don’t have to use all of them to build something beautiful. You only need the ones that resonate with your heart.

Take Buddhism, for example. You don’t have to meditate for hours a day or believe in reincarnation to appreciate its teachings on mindfulness and compassion. You might love the Islamic principle of Zakat, giving to those in need, without adhering to the Five Pillars. Or maybe the Jewish idea of tikkun olam, repairing the world, speaks to your sense of purpose. These are not “all-or-nothing” principles; they are invitations to live meaningfully.

The Spiritual Buffet Is Not a Sin

Those who claim you can’t pick and choose often argue that it waters down the religion or disrespects its origins. But isn’t it more disrespectful to blindly follow something that doesn’t align with your soul? Cherry-picking from religions isn’t about diluting their essence; it’s about celebrating their beauty.

Let’s be honest: most religions have parts that don’t sit right with everyone. For example, rigid rules, exclusionary practices, or outdated doctrines often clash with modern values. Does that mean you have to throw the whole thing away? Of course not. It means you have the power—and the right—to embrace what uplifts you and set aside what doesn’t.

This is especially true when religion is seen through a historical lens. So many traditions evolved in specific cultural contexts that may no longer apply. The spirit of the teaching, however, remains timeless.

Permission to Seek

My mother gave me the greatest gift by showing me that it’s OK to question—even when the answers lead you away from what she believed. Her Catholicism was a steady anchor for her, but it wasn’t for me. Instead, I found pieces of myself in the interconnectedness of Hinduism, the contemplative practices of Buddhism, and even the awe of science.

She never felt threatened by my journey because she understood something crucial: faith is personal. It’s not about signing up for someone else’s belief system; it’s about building your own.

And isn’t that the point of spirituality? To find meaning in a world that often feels chaotic? To connect with something larger than ourselves?

You Are the Author of Your Beliefs

Choosing the parts of religion that resonate with you isn’t a rejection of faith—it’s an act of creation. You’re curating a belief system that speaks to your unique experiences, values, and understanding of the world. It’s not about defying tradition but about honoring your own truth.

In a way, it’s like creating a patchwork quilt. Each piece may come from a different place, but together they form something warm, whole, and deeply personal. Your spiritual quilt doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to keep you connected to the divine.

So, if you’ve ever felt guilty about borrowing from different religions, let that go. You’re not breaking any cosmic rules. You’re doing what humans have done for centuries: seeking, learning, and growing.

And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, remind them of this—faith isn’t about following; it’s about finding. Whether it’s a Catholic prayer, a Buddhist meditation, or the quiet awe of a starry sky, the path is yours to create. My mother believed that, and now so do I.

Now go build your quilt. Your soul deserves it.