Hi there, dreamers and deep thinkers,

Losing someone you love is a spectacle that unfolds like a badly written tragedy. One moment, life chugs along with its mundane routines; the next, it’s a tornado tearing through your existence. You stand there, eyes wide, mouth open, wondering what cosmic joke you stumbled into.

When faced with the loss of a loved one, the first instinct is to ask, “Why did this happen?” But here’s the brutal truth—no satisfactory answer exists. The universe isn’t a fair courtroom; it’s more like a chaotic playground, where justice and logic take their lunch breaks simultaneously.

Embrace the Absurd

It’s infuriating, really. Life throws curveballs, and then it has the audacity to demand you act rationally. Accepting that absurdity is the first step toward sanity.

Embracing the senselessness doesn’t mean surrendering to despair. It means understanding that randomness is a feature, not a glitch, of human existence. Once you stop searching for that tidy, life-affirming explanation, the grip of bewilderment loosens a bit.

Pain Is a Relentless Teacher

Pain isn’t polite. It doesn’t knock before entering; it crashes in, uninvited. And yet, as unwelcome as it is, pain has the potential to teach you more about life than comfort ever could.

When you lose someone, you feel like you’re being dragged across broken glass. It’s ugly, exhausting, and merciless. But somewhere between the tears and sleepless nights, pain whispers lessons about love, resilience, and the true fragility of human connection.

The raw wound of loss can sharpen your perspective. Suddenly, the trivialities you used to obsess over become laughable. You learn that time isn’t a currency to be hoarded; it’s a resource to be spent wisely, with people who matter.

Coping Means Doing Exactly What You Feel

Grief is raw and unfiltered—it demands authenticity. When you’re grieving, every emotion is a wave, every urge a compass pointing toward what your soul needs most. Coping, then, is about leaning into those feelings, allowing them to guide you, not fight against them.

If you feel like crying, let the tears flow. If the solitude of your room feels like a sanctuary, honor it. If anger rises, express it safely and fully. By doing exactly what you feel, you create space to process the storm within rather than suppress it.

This doesn’t mean wallowing endlessly or losing yourself in the weight of despair. Instead, it’s an act of self-trust—a belief that your feelings are part of the healing process, not something to fear or avoid. When you embrace what you feel, you honor both the love you lost and the life you’re still living.

Accepting that There’s No Neat Closure

Life isn’t a movie where you get the cathartic resolution and roll credits. Sometimes, there are no grand revelations, no “a-ha” moments that stitch your heart back together. Sometimes, all you get is the struggle—messy, unglamorous, and ongoing.

But that’s part of the deal. To live fully is to risk fully, knowing that love and loss are two sides of the same unpredictable coin. Accept that the story continues, even with gaping, unanswered questions.

The Final Takeaway: Keep Going

The world doesn’t pause when your heart breaks. It spins indifferently, dragging you along whether you’re ready or not. Keep moving, not because you feel like it, but because life won’t wait for you to catch up.

If you expect an epiphany to make sense of it all, prepare to be disappointed. Closure is a myth sold by those who think human suffering can be tied up with a ribbon. Real strength lies in learning to carry the weight, one imperfect step at a time.

Grieve, question, scream at the sky if you need to. But in between those moments, remember to breathe. Not for answers—they may never come—but for the simple act of survival, which, at the end of the day, is its own defiant victory.

Stay curious.

With love,

April

Cognitive Psycho

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For more on healing, grief, and finding peace after loss, explore the “Hollow Spaces: Life After Loss” series on Cognitive Psycho.

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